I have been thinking about posting since Sunday, when I attended a church service with my friend and minister. I have not been to a service that I was not a part of in a long time, and the last time was not at a place that touched me deeply. Now I don't know that I can say how deeply I may have been touched by this service I attended. A house, turned sanctuary, sheltering people with a true love and devotion for Jesus. Nor can I clearly say if I liked the service, though I didn't NOT like it.... But I can say with certainty that two things were brought to my attention.
I have never been to a service or even a gathering of people who speak so clearly and fervently about Jesus. Even in our little home church.... We talk about Jesus, but not like this. A true feeling that Jesus is as important as God, and Holy Spirit... A true deepening into the sacrifice Jesus paid to give us the chance to have a relationship with God. A true conversation with other people of faith where the name Jesus has more.... Meaning... Something I had not realized was missing from my faith-life, but something I seeped into my soul greedily and joyfully. I am not sure the words that you just read make sense, or even explain clearly enough what I mean to say.... But those are the words I have...
I cried. During communion. I don't even really know why. We partook of Body and Blood, sang Jesus Messiah and at the part of the chorus that says, "Blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel" the tears would well up and fall. Like I said, I really haven't a clue as to the reason, and maybe I just haven't looked closely enough to discover it, but I do know that something shifted in my heart at that moment.
During this week I have noticed something interesting. I have ended everyday relaxed with a feeling of well-being. Whether I had a day filled with awesome, moments of frustration or sadness, beautiful moments of family and love, the day ends with gratitude. Maybe this is connected. Maybe this won't last. Maybe this is the next step on this journey of faith I have embarked on. All I know is that part of me is always aware of the Love. The Love that God showers upon us through the Word made Flesh, the Way, the Truth and the Life, my dear friend, Jesus Christ.
Before, I would worry and fret at the fact that every post I make seems to end up being about God, and my faith. But it really makes a lot of sense. God is working at something in my life. I haven't quite worked out what it is yet, and maybe God (who knows me better than anyone) knows I'd freak if I had the whole picture and so lets me make the small steps, but there is definitely Something at work. So for those of you who feel like you need to know more about my mundane/worldly life, feel free to call me. But I make no promises God won't make a guest appearance in that conversation too.