Trying for three in a row!

I was so excited that I had been actually posting on this blog that I wanted to keep it up...  Of course, even a desire to post doesn't assure that there is a topic to post about. ;)

I have used songs as inspiration and grounding for my faith for many years.  There is something about music that allows me to really go deep and (to use an expression from a friend) dip my toes in that river of grace.  Maybe this is not unique or interesting at all, but it is definitely something that allows me to go deeper and find that quiet place of faith inside me.  So that is probably why I use song lyrics in almost all of my sermons or posts about faith.  

I like to think that music is a way of connecting with each other as well as with the Holy.  Something about singing a song together, as one voice, can really touch the heart and open a group to the flow of the spirit.  There are some songs that I could probably sing over and over, continuously, until all that I really notice is God working in my heart.  The song I bring to your attention today is one such song.  It allows the brain to switch into neutral and the heart to take over.

The Taize folks in France understand the importance of that and their songs are usually no more than 4/5 lines sung over and over, allowing for reaching a place of deep connection with the Spirit.  Often part of the energy and connection comes from creating harmonies and starting rounds, lifting your voice to praise and allowing your heart to open for worship.

Anyway, the song that I hold in my heart tonight is called Breathe by Michael W. Smith (though many have recorded it) and if you are able maybe head over to iTunes and listen to it on repeat later tonight.  While you're on iTunes, check out Let It Rain which is also wonderful to sing over and over again.  Here are the lyrics to Breathe

Breathe

-Michael W. Smith

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

And I I'm desperate for you
And I I'm I'm lost without you

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
this is my daily bread
your very word spoken to me

And I'm, I'm desperate for you
And I'm, I'm lost without you

And I'm desperate for you
And I'm, I'm lost without you.

Good Night and God Bless!

GOOD NEWS!

Hello everyone!  Try not to faint when you notice that this makes 2 blog posts in as many days.  I know it is hard to believe, but I have something important to share with you.  If you can find a way to hear the song below, please do.  The way it is sung, and the feel of the music adds to the beautiful lyrics....  But on to the important thing I have to tell you!

Jesus Loves You!  You Are Not Alone!  

Sometimes it takes a moment of sadness to steer you in the right direction.  Sometimes it is itunes randomly playing the exact right song at the exact right moment. :)  I was sitting in bed, putzing around on the computer, wallowing in old hurts with new actions attached when Good News by Chris Rice began to play.  The beat is catchy, the melody fun, if a little hard to sing, and with lyrics I really needed to hear.  So I thought I would share them with you.  Along with the plug for Chris Rice, who is one of the more brilliant song writers.  While checking out Good News be sure to catch Go light your world, Smell the Color 9, Untitled Hymn, Welcome to Our World, and Cartoon Song.  Now, the lyrics for Good News are below.  God Bless!

"Good News"

-Chris Rice

Well you already know life ain’t easy
‘Cause you’ve had more than your share of hard times
Been so long since you heard the sweet music
Or seen the blue sky

Feels like nobody knows how you’re hurtin’
And you’ve gotten so tired of hidin’ your pain
And you’d give anything to lay down your burden
And just fly away
Oh, but don’t go flyin’ away

‘Cause I’ve got good news
It’s water for the thirsty
Comfort for the weary
Good news
I’ve got good news
There’s hope and peace and freedom
Jesus came to bring ‘em to you
And ain’t it about time
Ain’t it about time
Ain’t it about time for some good news

All those talk shows and war zones in the headlines
Well they can’t come close to your chaos inside
So you wanna find a way to leave behind your troubles
And get off this ride

‘Cause it seems like all you’ve been hearin’ is condemnation
And the last thing you need is more shame
Well even your preacher says the Lord is out to get you
But He ain’t that way
Oh no, the Lord, He ain’t that way

I’ve got good news
It’s water for the thirsty
Comfort for the weary
Good news
I’ve got good news
There’s hope and peace and freedom
Jesus came to bring ‘em to you
And ain’t it about time
Ain’t it about time
Ain’t it about time for some good news

Where Does My Help Come From?

"Free to Be Me" 

 -Francesca Battistelli

"At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

(Chorus)
‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together 
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out 
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy 
And sometimes I would doubt

(Chorus)

And you’re free to be you 

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me 
That I've got all You seek 
And it’s easy to believe
Even though 

(Chorus)"

So, from the wonderful advice of my sister (seconded by my mother)  I bring you a little insight into my brain... and blow the dust off my faith language to see what I can do.

"From Where Does My Help Come?"

Renée Grahame, Apr 2009

My sister and I were on one of our patented aimless drives having an unusually heavy conversation when something she said resonated with me.  "I have to make a conscious effort, and sometimes I give in, but the important thing is to keep making that conscious effort even when I don't want to." (This is not word for word, since my memory is not stellar, but you get the idea.)  The maturity and wisdom that my baby sister emits some days is truly breathtaking.  She was talking about balancing the things she doesn't like to do with the things she loves to do at work in order to keep all of her days positive, but really, this idea can be applied to pretty much anything.  For example, sometimes we would rather be selfish and listen to the general media telling us to look out only for number one.  Some days it takes a conscious effort to remember to be a light of Christ to those around us, and some days it's the last thing we want to do.  But the important thing is to continue making that effort, even when we don't want to...

I started thinking about where we find the strength to make that effort.  Where do I find my strength?  Where in my life do I find that thing takes the most effort?

I could not pin-point the thing in my life that gives me the most trouble...  I had come up with a few things I found difficult, but nothing stood out as being the major one until the bridge of a song on the radio caught my ear.

     "Sometimes I believe that I can do anything/ Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring"

I am at a kind of crossroads in my life at the moment.  I have just finished school for a specific career, and am trying to find work in that field.  But at the same time, I wonder if there is something else I am called to do an be in this world.  And with that sort of crossroad I find I am doubting myself and this path that I have started myself on. Of course self-esteem issues are not new to me (I doubt there are new for any of us), but this questioning is different from my usual fare.  Some days I feel like I have it all figured out, like my life is heading exactly where it should be.  I am happily married to a wonderful man.  I am an empathetic, intelligent (if a little nutty), cherished daughter and a blessed woman surrounded by love.  

And then there are days when I have convinced myself that I have nothing at all to offer this world.  I am fleeting, a blip, a nothing.  Leaving no mark on any one's heart or soul.  Making no difference in even one person's life.  Unable to spread the light of my faith, and so unwilling to even try.  Surrounding myself with an uncaring attitude in order to insulate myself from hurt or disappointment.  And it is in this moment that I need to make a conscious effort, to remember that I am a beloved child of God.

But where do I find the strength to make that effort?  When my spirit is low and I would rather be invisible to the world than shine God's love around me, where do I turn?  Where does my help come from?  How do a get past the darkness and find myself in the light?  Why I lift my eyes to the hills of course!

• 1.
 
• I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from?

• 2.
 
• My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

• 3.
 
• He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber;

• 4.
 
• indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

• 5.
 
• The LORD watches over you-- the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

• 6.
 
• the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

• 7.
 
• The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life;

• 8.
 
• the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

-Psalm 121, New International Version

     "But You look at my heart and You tell me/ That I've got all You seek/ And it’s easy to believe/ Even though...

     I got a couple dents in my fender/ Got a couple rips in my jeans/ Try to fit the pieces together/ But perfection is my     enemy/ On my own I'm so clumsy/ But on Your shoulders I can see... I'm free to be me"

I know that I am given whatever strength I need from God.  I know that I am being watched over by a Power and Love that never tires, never wains, and never quits.  And in the end, I know that I have been given the gifts I am needed to share with the world, whatever that may look like.  Perhaps for the next few years this means creating a welcoming and warm environment for dental patients.  God alone knows what it will look like in the future.  All I need to do is make a conscious effort to remember that I am a beloved child of God, strengthened by the Lord, and saved by His Son Jesus by the cross.  Remember to make a conscious effort to be pure of heart in all my actions, and to share the light and love of Christ to those around me.  I am not perfect.  I am not expected to be.  I am expected only to live in the way of Jesus Christ, step by step, day by day.  Because on His shoulders, I am free and supported to be my best self.  (Understanding that my best self is a work in progress...lol)  

So though I am not always able to see the plans that God has for me, I take comfort in the knowledge that I am not in this alone.  On my own I may be clumsy, but I am supported by the tender love of Jesus.  Plus, I am blessed to have people in my life who support and love me for the flawed woman that I am.  And whose journey of faith is an inspiration and steady help to make that conscious effort required to live a life of a disciple.  God Bless.

Dear Lord,

Be with me everyday as I struggle to become the person you have planned.  

Aid me in being a light to others, and help me to see the light in others.

Remind me to make a conscious effort, even when I don't want to, to be a beacon of your love.

And help me to see in myself the worthiness you see in me.

Amen.

Well I hope that made a little sense.  I'm off to watch some more Stargate SG-1 season 1 with my hubby.  Good night, blessed ones.  Sleep well.

What you've been waiting for... or not.

I have been meaning to update this thing for awhile now, but since this is the first I have gotten to it, you can imagine where it falls on my list of priorities.  *blush*

I finished my last exam on Friday and have found out that I indeed passed all of my classes with a B+ or higher.  I am finished the program and now have to get back out into the world of working for a living. *pout* lol  I have an interview on Wednesday and hope that it goes well.  Mostly because from what I have heard I would fit in well that office, but also because then I don't have to keep looking for another job. *laughs*

I have been cleaning and organizing my house over the past while.  We got ourselves into a tizzy of cleaning over Easter when my husbands Nan came over for Easter dinner.  It was so nice to have her over and she seemed to have a good time.  But we cleaned up a significant amount and I even continued to after that day, so now my house is beginning to look MUCH better.  :)  There are of course a few things that still need to be done, and I expect that will be the same forever.  I am one who can always think of something else that can be done... I just don't always get around to doing it.  *wry smile*

My husband and I have yet to decide what we are going to do for our 1st anniversary trip.  We can't seem to agree, and one of us isn't looking into his option... so informed decisions are hard to make.  Maybe it will not be until June or July before we make a decision... lol.

I have been trying to decide what it is in life that I truly enjoy doing.  Dental Office Receptionist may become my occupation I do not believe that it is my vocation.  But perhaps what I am called to do is something that I will do outside of the workforce.  It is funny how I wonder more now about what I will do with my life than I did before I decided to go to school.  In the years of 2006 through the end of 2007 I was involved in things various places that created in me a satisfaction and contentment that I received outside of my occupation.  So while I did not intend to be working at Wal~Mart for the rest of my life, I was also not in any hurry to find something else that would not afford me the flexibility to be involved in those things that brought me a sense of accomplishment.  I guess what I am looking for at the moment (not very hard, mind you)  is something that will give me a similar sense of accomplishment... but where do I find it?  And in what guise will it be?

I have on my ipod the 'sermons' that I wrote and spoke at Esquimalt United during the spring/summer of 2007.  When I listen to those, I feel a call to be doing something like that again.  The living into the scripture that happened when planning a service and writing a sermon was something that helped me to define, in part, who I was.  The need to bring something out of myself that was at it's very essence personal and unique, but touched that same part in others.  To be able to think through and speak out a faith that is not perfect, but a journey, day by day, with Christ with the goal of being a vessel of His light in the world.  I miss having an outlet to talk like that... Y'a know?  It's a different language, the language of faith, and I kinda miss having a place to speak out, work out, deepen and share the language that sometimes comes from outside ourselves.  I miss creating experiences, and cohesive themes.  I miss having a reason to fiddle on the computer, creating power points, brochures, outlines....  I miss growing as a person as I worked, struggled, listened, felt challenged and challenged others.  But I don't think I feel comfortable enough to open myself again.   A friend of mine asked about whether I was going to church, and my answer must have held some guilt...  She began to say how she didn't think that God needed us to go to church, and wouldn't be mad if I didn't.  It was then I truly defined in my head my fear.  I still feel connected to God, and miss the way I used to worship before... but mostly I do not miss church.  God has never, ever, made me feel insignificant, worthless, useless and wrong.  God has never told me in one breath that I was wonderful while with the other told me that all I was doing was not right.  God has never tried to force me to do something I did not feel I could/would/wanted to do.  God and I are tight.  Jesus is my saviour.  The cross is the grounding point of my faith.  Jesus and I are tight.  People I am not so sure about.  As Christians we are called to forgive and to see the light in others.  That is my challenge.  To forgive and love Everyone.  But I suspect that I am not the only one with that challenge.  All I do know is this:  God is good, Jesus is Lord and I am a child of God.