But what I mean is that I am lucky at the moment to be out of the flow of the World. Lucky that I would have a husband and family who would support me removing myself from the World's race for promotions and raises in order to focus on my faith journey and care for a beautiful gift of God bundled in a 2 year old package. I am removed enough from the trappings of the World to have the opportunity to shift my view, shift my way of being. There is trepidation and uncertainty in this, as my World mindset and my Kingdom heart struggle to abide together.
I have been that person who quiets their Kingdom heart to assure no offense is given or no one feel uncomfortable. Been irked by the emails that speak of Jesus and then dare me to pass them along (since 86% or whatever of people won't.) Do you, like me find that dare, that taunt, as reason enough to delete the message, unshared with contacts in your list? And do you, like me, when the email speaks so close to the heart it must be shared, specially select people in your contact list to send it to? Those people who you know will not be offended or put off by receiving it?
I have been the person afraid of following the faith journey. So studied in the ways of the World that not contributing financially to my household, not having a 5 year business plan, and not knowing what I will be doing as occupation when the sidewalk ends has been, and continues to be, a place of struggle in me.
I have been the person who feels guilty. Like Francis Chan said in "Crazy Love" (page 56/57) I have picked up somewhere along the way that I should set aside time for God, in which to pray and read the Bible. And the fact that I don't (even though I am home most of the day with that little bundle of God's gift) frustrates me, and causes me to feel guilty. Like I am being fraudulent when I speak about my faith, since I don't "do my time."
But, let's be honest with each other... God is not only in the silent moments set aside for prayer. God is not only in the moments of certainty and joy. God does not only love us when we are working hard, making good money, keeping our family comfortable. God is Everywhere. God is in Everything... actually God IS Everything. In Crazy Love Chan writes, " Over time I have realized that when we love God, we naturally run to Him-frequently and zealously. Jesus didn't command that we have a regular time with Him each day. Rather, He tells us to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." He called this the "first and greatest commandment" (Matt. 22:37-38).....This is how God longs for us to respond to His extravagant, unending love: not with a cursory "quiet time" plagued by guilt, but with true love expressed through our lives." (page 57)
And that is where I find I see the Kingdom in the World: through Love.
I have been surrounded by people who care and accept my heart and journey, regardless of their own position on the border between Kingdom and World. When these people, the moments of peace or laughter, the moments of Love are viewed as Blessings from a Loving God I cannot help but feel His presence in this place. So it is in shifting to see the Blessings. Focusing on the moments of Love. Choosing to see with Kingdom eyes that God is clearest. And in noticing and focusing on those moments we can teach ourselves to feel/see/perceive even the faintest whisper of God moving through our lives. So Love, love the Lord Our God so fervently , so passionately that we Run to Him-"frequently and zealously." Because we can be sure that any love that have for God, even when our heart is at it's biggest, doesn't begin to compare to the unyielding and never-ending love Our Father has for us. And doesn't that feel great? So focus on the Blessings and Moments. Hear the whispers of God in your everyday. And by all means, feel free to set aside time to pray and read the Bible. Just don't feel guilty if you don't.