Sunday Morning (afternoon... lol) Thoughts

My family and I have not been attending church lately because of the feeling that something doesn't quite fit with us at the church we had been attending.  The joke is that it's my job to write a sermon for Sunday so that we don't miss anything by not going to church.  And since my sister has been reminding me that is has been awhile since I updated, I decided to do just that. :) 

There is a song that plays on the christian radio that makes me turn it up loud and belt it out. (well the chorus anyway, I'm not 100% on the lyrics of the verse... lol)  Mostly I do this because I think it's fun to sing the chorus, but also I like the words.  But every time I do this, without fail, by the second time the chorus comes around I have goosebumps and and I tear up a little.  I thought that maybe this deserved a little digging.  So here are the lyrics of the chorus so we can all be on the same page:

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

There is something about belting out these words that is so neat.  But what is it that touches me to the point of tears?  Or maybe the question what part of me is touched as to move me to tears? 

There have been times in the last little while that I was beginning to wonder where my faith stood.  How does the world know that I am a follower of Christ.  In what way am I being a beacon of his light in the world?  I don't really have answers to that yet.  But this song I think touches the part of me that lives in that place of faith.  I have always been firmly connected in my faith to the act of enormous love that Jesus, our Saviour, performed for us.  There is something about having someone love you so much that they would die in order to allow you to live and be forgiven.  Because of my Saviour, I am forgiven for the mistakes and sins I have.  But it is more than that.  Before I knew my saviour, there was a dimness to the world.  I don't know how to describe it past that.  My heart hurt from the petty things people did, for the fact that we cannot trust that folks are truthful, the world was colored by these things and I could not see the light.  But since truly acknowledging the place that Jesus occupies in my heart, and in my soul, there is a brightness I had missed.  The path on the journey of faith is not always straightforward.  Not because Jesus doesn't give us good directions, but because sometimes we forget.  We forget that we are his light, and allow our hurt and confusion tint our actions.  We forget that we need only to ask, and Jesus is there.  My Savior is eternal.  My Saviour is with me always.  Giving me a tether to my faith, providing a solid rock on which to weather any storms.  I may not always act like the light to world I wish to be.  But the daily reminder of what My Saviour did for me helps to keep on the path.  

So maybe you don't know what I mean.  Maybe you think I'm a little silly to believe in something that cannot be "seen" or "felt".  But since My Savior entered my heart, I see and feel every day Him working in the world.  

I'm not sure if any of this is what it should be.  But it is what it is.  Enjoy.

My Savior My God :
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior 

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior 

Chorus (2x's) 
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x's) 

(Instrumental)

Chorus: (2x's)

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior loves, My Savior lives 

To see a video of the song, go here.

I will boast... cause I'm cool, y'a know.

My Dad bought a new CD from the Christian Book and Music store and he is always kind enough to let me have a listen, there were a few songs that I had not heard before and one of them really got me thinking.  It's called "I Will Boast" and on the CD it is performed by Phillips, Craig and Dean but while looking up the lyrics, I found that it was by Paul Baloche...  Anyway, first here are the lyrics:

I will boast

Paul Baloche

(click here for a video of the song)

Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Or the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his riches
But let the hum- ble come and give thanks
To the One who made us, the One who saved us

CHORUS
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy, He's wor- thy

Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Or the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his rich- es
But let the hum- ble come and give thanks
To the One who made us, the One who saved us

CHORUS
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
I will boast in the Lord my God
(1st ending)
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
(Repeat Chorus)
(2nd ending)
I will boast in the One Who's worthy, He's worthy

INSTRUMENTAL

BRIDGE

I will make my boast in Christ alone
I will make my boast in Christ alone
(Repeat twice)

CHORUS
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
I will boast in the Lord my God
(1st & 2nd ending)
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
(Repeat Chorus)
(3rd ending)
I will boast in the One Who's worthy, He's worthy
He's wor- thy

I started to write this whole big thing about boasting, and acknowledging God, and the spirit in which we do things... It was at least 3 or 4 paragraphs when I realized... That was not really what God wanted me to say.  It felt wrong somehow... It wasn't flowing...  And then I realized, I really only have to say one thing.

Thank You Jesus.

From Jesus' sacrifice for us on the cross, to God bestowing on us the gifts we require I have been fully and wholly blessed.  My life is a journey with all the ups and downs, but I will say it has been mostly ups.  I have been gifted with a loving family, a fantastic husband, a few good friends, a lot of awesome people, and a selection of talents and gifts to get me through.  All of this I would not have but for Jesus.  All of this I would not appreciate as wholly if not for God.  On my journey of faith I have learned how amazing each day is.  That the Lord works in ways so innocuous we hardly notice His direction.  And that I do not praise Him near enough for all I have been given.

So I will be one of the humble.  I will come and give thanks to the one who made me, who saved me, the one who is worthy of all thanks and praise.  I will boast not of myself alone, but of myself as a vessel of  the One God.  I will boast of Christ.  I do not do this by standing on a rooftop and screaming my faith to those below.  I do this by living each day as a follower of Christ.  I do this by struggling to be my best self and centering my life in faith.  I do this by thanking God  for the gifts I have been given, and using them for His glory.

I do not use the word struggle without cause, for I am still early on this journey of faith, and it is a struggle at times to keep Christ at my center.  But it is by this struggle that we move forward on our journey.  So I listen to songs like "I Will Boast"  that keep me thinking and keep me focused.  That remind me.

Thank You Jesus.

Good night.

P.S. Check out my Dad's blogs: Chris' Musings and Christian Life and Work he's pretty cool and you can check out the song he's posted. :)

Today I found myself thinking about labels...  I can't really put my finger on what started this train of thought, but you lucky people get to listen into it! (or read, for those more literally minded...) lol

As a people we are obsessed with labels.  Perhaps it is the organizational application that is the draw... There is something to be said for "Everything having a place, and everything in it's place."  Or maybe it's the feeling that we will understand someone better if we have them neatly labeled and categorized.

As individuals, I believe there is a distinct dichotomy in how we feel about them.  On one side, our individuality and uniqueness is important to us making labels the "enemy" to be argued and denied.  On the other side, unlike magnets where opposites attract, as social creatures we are drawn to people with whom we have a connection. Or we look for something in common from which a connection can be made.  In this case labels help us to quickly choose those people with whom to spend time.

I think where most people find the fear of labels is in that first point of individuals.  With so many people around us, there is a deep seeded need to be different, to feel unique.  The thought that our uniqueness can be stolen from us by one little word is terrifying.  Goth, emo, straight, gay, lesbian, white, black, blonde, cute, and the list goes on... these labels are attempts to categorize... but I think that it isn't the label itself that holds the fear... It's when we attach the word 'only'.

"Oh him? He's only a goth...."

"What do you expect, she's only a blonde"

The fear is that that word 'only' suddenly makes it seem as if whatever you are... some choice you have made, or something you can't change (genes...)... is not good enough.  There is a demoralizing tone to someone saying "only".  The feeling is of being flick off a sleeve like lint.  Not worthy of consideration, of being given the chance to show your fully rounded personality.  A personality that is made up of many things, many facets.  We are not just one thing, we are complicated and always growing and learning and becoming 'more' than what we were...

Which is why I don't understand the phrase, "Only Human."  The idea is to say that humans are basically flawed, and therefore it is no surprise if something goes wrong.  But isn't that just as bad as saying that people who are blonde are not intelligent?  Now I do understand that as a race we are indeed not perfect.  Mistakes are made.  But is this because as Humans we are basically and irreversibly unable to be better? I believe that we are learning, and that as a race, as a world, we are still needing to grow up a little.  God made us in His image.  We aren't perfect, but not because we don't have the ability to be so... It's because we are still learning.  Just as we give second chances to children who make mistakes, so must we do with our whole race.  Understand that we are still learning to follow Christ and have to work at it everyday.  Understand that while we may not be perfect, Human means: hope, possibilities, striving for excellence, learning, bettering ourselves and becoming 'more'.

I'm sure you are familiar with the expression; "Labels are for tin cans, not for people."  I think labels become a bad thing when they are used to limit a person.  I think labels are bad when they are used to demoralize or degrade someone.  I think labels are bad when they are used to make stereotypical assumptions about an individual or group...

But I will admit to being excited about labels with positive connotations... Here are the ones that are most important to me:  Wife, Daughter, Sister, Christ follower, Seeker.

I am more than any single one of those, and still more than all of them together...  As I am sure anyone can say.  But what is most important is to remember that I am a loved, cherished, unique child of God.  And so I sign off with two things...

1. Please, if any of this makes sense, doesn't make sense, or you have anything to add... do!

2. This is a snippet of the chorus of a song by David Crowder Band... check it out

You make everything glorious

And I am Yours
What does that make me?

God bless and goodnight!

Well so much for that idea

I meant to keep up the good work with 4 and 5 blogs in as many days... But then life decided to be interesting and give me no time to write.  I decided to spend time with my husband and family instead... I hope you will forgive me. lol

The fact that I have not had time to write does not mean that I have not thought about it.  In fact it seems that there are moments in the day when what I am experiencing sparks an idea for a post and I begin to compose in my head.  This happened just the other day when exiting Wal-Mart with my Mom.  It had begun to rain, no hard, but enough to begin to soak the ground.  Do you know that scent that comes when pavement is wet and the world is heavy with rain?  There is something about that smell that is both intoxicating and gross.  I love it and dislike it all at once, creating a confusion I cannot solve.  It seems to me that maybe it is merely the scent of rain that I find so intoxicating and the smell of wet pavement is what turns me off, but that rings false in my mind.  Maybe it is the grease and more that is on the pavement that lends to the wrong part of the smell.  But anyway, I was brought back to a time at Winter Session when in the dead of night, through the pouring rain my friend Nicole and I went for a walk.  To escape tension in the "house" and to talk through where we found ourselves in it.  One of the things I adore about Naramata is that at night it is dark.  There is no need for street lamps as everything is closed and so the street lamps are few.  It is a quiet and peaceful type of darkness, with the lake nearby and the orchards and village all around.  And so, in the quiet, peaceful, rainy dark, we walked and talked and got soaking wet.  It was a good time.  I used to love it when it rained at our place in View Royal.  The room that I shared with my sister until my brother moved out looked out over the garage roof.  The rain made a wonderful sound as it hit the roof.  I used to climb out the window and sit on the window sill smelling, and listening and drinking in the moment.  (That is until Mom put a screen over the window...lol)  Sometimes I wold sneak downstairs and out the front door to sit.  But without fail you would find my window open.  Sometimes even in the dead of winter, at least for a little while.  If there is one thing I miss now that I  live on the main floor of a two storey home, it's the sound of the rain against the roof, and my perch on the sill overlooking the quiet complex.

Well I have to run, gotta drive my sis to class.

Be well.

Trying for three in a row!

I was so excited that I had been actually posting on this blog that I wanted to keep it up...  Of course, even a desire to post doesn't assure that there is a topic to post about. ;)

I have used songs as inspiration and grounding for my faith for many years.  There is something about music that allows me to really go deep and (to use an expression from a friend) dip my toes in that river of grace.  Maybe this is not unique or interesting at all, but it is definitely something that allows me to go deeper and find that quiet place of faith inside me.  So that is probably why I use song lyrics in almost all of my sermons or posts about faith.  

I like to think that music is a way of connecting with each other as well as with the Holy.  Something about singing a song together, as one voice, can really touch the heart and open a group to the flow of the spirit.  There are some songs that I could probably sing over and over, continuously, until all that I really notice is God working in my heart.  The song I bring to your attention today is one such song.  It allows the brain to switch into neutral and the heart to take over.

The Taize folks in France understand the importance of that and their songs are usually no more than 4/5 lines sung over and over, allowing for reaching a place of deep connection with the Spirit.  Often part of the energy and connection comes from creating harmonies and starting rounds, lifting your voice to praise and allowing your heart to open for worship.

Anyway, the song that I hold in my heart tonight is called Breathe by Michael W. Smith (though many have recorded it) and if you are able maybe head over to iTunes and listen to it on repeat later tonight.  While you're on iTunes, check out Let It Rain which is also wonderful to sing over and over again.  Here are the lyrics to Breathe

Breathe

-Michael W. Smith

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

And I I'm desperate for you
And I I'm I'm lost without you

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
this is my daily bread
your very word spoken to me

And I'm, I'm desperate for you
And I'm, I'm lost without you

And I'm desperate for you
And I'm, I'm lost without you.

Good Night and God Bless!

GOOD NEWS!

Hello everyone!  Try not to faint when you notice that this makes 2 blog posts in as many days.  I know it is hard to believe, but I have something important to share with you.  If you can find a way to hear the song below, please do.  The way it is sung, and the feel of the music adds to the beautiful lyrics....  But on to the important thing I have to tell you!

Jesus Loves You!  You Are Not Alone!  

Sometimes it takes a moment of sadness to steer you in the right direction.  Sometimes it is itunes randomly playing the exact right song at the exact right moment. :)  I was sitting in bed, putzing around on the computer, wallowing in old hurts with new actions attached when Good News by Chris Rice began to play.  The beat is catchy, the melody fun, if a little hard to sing, and with lyrics I really needed to hear.  So I thought I would share them with you.  Along with the plug for Chris Rice, who is one of the more brilliant song writers.  While checking out Good News be sure to catch Go light your world, Smell the Color 9, Untitled Hymn, Welcome to Our World, and Cartoon Song.  Now, the lyrics for Good News are below.  God Bless!

"Good News"

-Chris Rice

Well you already know life ain’t easy
‘Cause you’ve had more than your share of hard times
Been so long since you heard the sweet music
Or seen the blue sky

Feels like nobody knows how you’re hurtin’
And you’ve gotten so tired of hidin’ your pain
And you’d give anything to lay down your burden
And just fly away
Oh, but don’t go flyin’ away

‘Cause I’ve got good news
It’s water for the thirsty
Comfort for the weary
Good news
I’ve got good news
There’s hope and peace and freedom
Jesus came to bring ‘em to you
And ain’t it about time
Ain’t it about time
Ain’t it about time for some good news

All those talk shows and war zones in the headlines
Well they can’t come close to your chaos inside
So you wanna find a way to leave behind your troubles
And get off this ride

‘Cause it seems like all you’ve been hearin’ is condemnation
And the last thing you need is more shame
Well even your preacher says the Lord is out to get you
But He ain’t that way
Oh no, the Lord, He ain’t that way

I’ve got good news
It’s water for the thirsty
Comfort for the weary
Good news
I’ve got good news
There’s hope and peace and freedom
Jesus came to bring ‘em to you
And ain’t it about time
Ain’t it about time
Ain’t it about time for some good news

Where Does My Help Come From?

"Free to Be Me" 

 -Francesca Battistelli

"At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

(Chorus)
‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together 
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out 
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy 
And sometimes I would doubt

(Chorus)

And you’re free to be you 

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me 
That I've got all You seek 
And it’s easy to believe
Even though 

(Chorus)"

So, from the wonderful advice of my sister (seconded by my mother)  I bring you a little insight into my brain... and blow the dust off my faith language to see what I can do.

"From Where Does My Help Come?"

Renée Grahame, Apr 2009

My sister and I were on one of our patented aimless drives having an unusually heavy conversation when something she said resonated with me.  "I have to make a conscious effort, and sometimes I give in, but the important thing is to keep making that conscious effort even when I don't want to." (This is not word for word, since my memory is not stellar, but you get the idea.)  The maturity and wisdom that my baby sister emits some days is truly breathtaking.  She was talking about balancing the things she doesn't like to do with the things she loves to do at work in order to keep all of her days positive, but really, this idea can be applied to pretty much anything.  For example, sometimes we would rather be selfish and listen to the general media telling us to look out only for number one.  Some days it takes a conscious effort to remember to be a light of Christ to those around us, and some days it's the last thing we want to do.  But the important thing is to continue making that effort, even when we don't want to...

I started thinking about where we find the strength to make that effort.  Where do I find my strength?  Where in my life do I find that thing takes the most effort?

I could not pin-point the thing in my life that gives me the most trouble...  I had come up with a few things I found difficult, but nothing stood out as being the major one until the bridge of a song on the radio caught my ear.

     "Sometimes I believe that I can do anything/ Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring"

I am at a kind of crossroads in my life at the moment.  I have just finished school for a specific career, and am trying to find work in that field.  But at the same time, I wonder if there is something else I am called to do an be in this world.  And with that sort of crossroad I find I am doubting myself and this path that I have started myself on. Of course self-esteem issues are not new to me (I doubt there are new for any of us), but this questioning is different from my usual fare.  Some days I feel like I have it all figured out, like my life is heading exactly where it should be.  I am happily married to a wonderful man.  I am an empathetic, intelligent (if a little nutty), cherished daughter and a blessed woman surrounded by love.  

And then there are days when I have convinced myself that I have nothing at all to offer this world.  I am fleeting, a blip, a nothing.  Leaving no mark on any one's heart or soul.  Making no difference in even one person's life.  Unable to spread the light of my faith, and so unwilling to even try.  Surrounding myself with an uncaring attitude in order to insulate myself from hurt or disappointment.  And it is in this moment that I need to make a conscious effort, to remember that I am a beloved child of God.

But where do I find the strength to make that effort?  When my spirit is low and I would rather be invisible to the world than shine God's love around me, where do I turn?  Where does my help come from?  How do a get past the darkness and find myself in the light?  Why I lift my eyes to the hills of course!

• 1.
 
• I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from?

• 2.
 
• My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

• 3.
 
• He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber;

• 4.
 
• indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

• 5.
 
• The LORD watches over you-- the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

• 6.
 
• the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

• 7.
 
• The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life;

• 8.
 
• the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

-Psalm 121, New International Version

     "But You look at my heart and You tell me/ That I've got all You seek/ And it’s easy to believe/ Even though...

     I got a couple dents in my fender/ Got a couple rips in my jeans/ Try to fit the pieces together/ But perfection is my     enemy/ On my own I'm so clumsy/ But on Your shoulders I can see... I'm free to be me"

I know that I am given whatever strength I need from God.  I know that I am being watched over by a Power and Love that never tires, never wains, and never quits.  And in the end, I know that I have been given the gifts I am needed to share with the world, whatever that may look like.  Perhaps for the next few years this means creating a welcoming and warm environment for dental patients.  God alone knows what it will look like in the future.  All I need to do is make a conscious effort to remember that I am a beloved child of God, strengthened by the Lord, and saved by His Son Jesus by the cross.  Remember to make a conscious effort to be pure of heart in all my actions, and to share the light and love of Christ to those around me.  I am not perfect.  I am not expected to be.  I am expected only to live in the way of Jesus Christ, step by step, day by day.  Because on His shoulders, I am free and supported to be my best self.  (Understanding that my best self is a work in progress...lol)  

So though I am not always able to see the plans that God has for me, I take comfort in the knowledge that I am not in this alone.  On my own I may be clumsy, but I am supported by the tender love of Jesus.  Plus, I am blessed to have people in my life who support and love me for the flawed woman that I am.  And whose journey of faith is an inspiration and steady help to make that conscious effort required to live a life of a disciple.  God Bless.

Dear Lord,

Be with me everyday as I struggle to become the person you have planned.  

Aid me in being a light to others, and help me to see the light in others.

Remind me to make a conscious effort, even when I don't want to, to be a beacon of your love.

And help me to see in myself the worthiness you see in me.

Amen.

Well I hope that made a little sense.  I'm off to watch some more Stargate SG-1 season 1 with my hubby.  Good night, blessed ones.  Sleep well.