What you've been waiting for... or not.

I have been meaning to update this thing for awhile now, but since this is the first I have gotten to it, you can imagine where it falls on my list of priorities.  *blush*

I finished my last exam on Friday and have found out that I indeed passed all of my classes with a B+ or higher.  I am finished the program and now have to get back out into the world of working for a living. *pout* lol  I have an interview on Wednesday and hope that it goes well.  Mostly because from what I have heard I would fit in well that office, but also because then I don't have to keep looking for another job. *laughs*

I have been cleaning and organizing my house over the past while.  We got ourselves into a tizzy of cleaning over Easter when my husbands Nan came over for Easter dinner.  It was so nice to have her over and she seemed to have a good time.  But we cleaned up a significant amount and I even continued to after that day, so now my house is beginning to look MUCH better.  :)  There are of course a few things that still need to be done, and I expect that will be the same forever.  I am one who can always think of something else that can be done... I just don't always get around to doing it.  *wry smile*

My husband and I have yet to decide what we are going to do for our 1st anniversary trip.  We can't seem to agree, and one of us isn't looking into his option... so informed decisions are hard to make.  Maybe it will not be until June or July before we make a decision... lol.

I have been trying to decide what it is in life that I truly enjoy doing.  Dental Office Receptionist may become my occupation I do not believe that it is my vocation.  But perhaps what I am called to do is something that I will do outside of the workforce.  It is funny how I wonder more now about what I will do with my life than I did before I decided to go to school.  In the years of 2006 through the end of 2007 I was involved in things various places that created in me a satisfaction and contentment that I received outside of my occupation.  So while I did not intend to be working at Wal~Mart for the rest of my life, I was also not in any hurry to find something else that would not afford me the flexibility to be involved in those things that brought me a sense of accomplishment.  I guess what I am looking for at the moment (not very hard, mind you)  is something that will give me a similar sense of accomplishment... but where do I find it?  And in what guise will it be?

I have on my ipod the 'sermons' that I wrote and spoke at Esquimalt United during the spring/summer of 2007.  When I listen to those, I feel a call to be doing something like that again.  The living into the scripture that happened when planning a service and writing a sermon was something that helped me to define, in part, who I was.  The need to bring something out of myself that was at it's very essence personal and unique, but touched that same part in others.  To be able to think through and speak out a faith that is not perfect, but a journey, day by day, with Christ with the goal of being a vessel of His light in the world.  I miss having an outlet to talk like that... Y'a know?  It's a different language, the language of faith, and I kinda miss having a place to speak out, work out, deepen and share the language that sometimes comes from outside ourselves.  I miss creating experiences, and cohesive themes.  I miss having a reason to fiddle on the computer, creating power points, brochures, outlines....  I miss growing as a person as I worked, struggled, listened, felt challenged and challenged others.  But I don't think I feel comfortable enough to open myself again.   A friend of mine asked about whether I was going to church, and my answer must have held some guilt...  She began to say how she didn't think that God needed us to go to church, and wouldn't be mad if I didn't.  It was then I truly defined in my head my fear.  I still feel connected to God, and miss the way I used to worship before... but mostly I do not miss church.  God has never, ever, made me feel insignificant, worthless, useless and wrong.  God has never told me in one breath that I was wonderful while with the other told me that all I was doing was not right.  God has never tried to force me to do something I did not feel I could/would/wanted to do.  God and I are tight.  Jesus is my saviour.  The cross is the grounding point of my faith.  Jesus and I are tight.  People I am not so sure about.  As Christians we are called to forgive and to see the light in others.  That is my challenge.  To forgive and love Everyone.  But I suspect that I am not the only one with that challenge.  All I do know is this:  God is good, Jesus is Lord and I am a child of God.

Reading Break... not spent reading.

We had a reading break at school last week and my husband and brother also took the time off so that we could all go away together.



We drove up to Courtenay/Comox to spend the weekend at the mountain. We left Wednesday evening(close to 7:30) so that we would be able to go up to the mountain first thing Thursday morning. It was a nice drive, I like to drive and in the dark was cool. Stopping in Duncan at Wendy's for dinner, we arrived in Courtenay about 10ish and hit the hay almost right away, setting the alarm for 8:30am.


I have to admit to being totally nervous about skiing, and not looking forward to it much at all as I got dressed that Thursday morning. I have to tell you that I had never been skiing at all in my life until that day. I neatly avoided all school ski trips throughout my childhood, due to my aversion to being cold and wet. Anyway, we were all ready to go and hopped into the car to be on our way. Not worried about how to get there, we plugged the information into the trusty GPS my parents so kindly lent me for the trip and we were off. We soon ended up on a logging road... not entirely sure if the GPS was as trusty as we had thought, we continued to drive on the pitted, dirty, and winding road hoping to end up somewhere close to our desired destination. We finally met up with the road up the mountain and continued up, on a paved road now. To sum up the day.... Skiing and I are not made for each other. Turns out that flying down a hill at full speed(at any speed faster than an amble) strapped to two planks is not my idea of a good time. Too much of an out of control feeling, I think. Perhaps if I just kept at it, and went a few more times I would begin to like it(she says with the perspective of 3 days). But I did end up really hurting myself, fell a bunch of times, and quit after only completing.... 4 runs(technically).

We then spent the rest of the weekend pretty quietly, to help me recover from the skiing adventure. We drove to Parksville to find out that mini golf was closed for the season (which is not on the website, grrrr...) Then we drove around Courtenay, visited a book/games store, then found a mall and accidentally stumbled upon a movie theater.(which we could not find through the phone book or GPS) So we went back to the hotel and played Puerto Rico then went to the movie(Taken) then out to dinner at BP. The theater was small, but my Theater Snob of a husband made it through the movie without screaming... but you should have seen the look on his face when we sat down.... priceless. lol Brian and I had the most horrible popcorn experience of our lives and between us maybe ate 26 kernels before giving up before throwing up. "Taken" was better than I expected, and I enjoyed it immensely. We then went back to the hotel (after making plans to meet up with the rest of the family in Duncan for some bowling) played another round of Puerto Rico, then hit the hay.

We left Courtenay around 10ish and stopped in Nanaimo for lunch(mmmmmm Taco Bell) where Brian had a gigantic meal for only $8 then kept going. We made it to Duncan about an hour before we were due to meet up with the family, so we tried to go mini golfing.... it was also closed... leaving us to go visit the new Super centre (Malcolm's first visit, my 3rd) where the boys bought video games and some movies. And I avoided looking at the shoes. When we got to the bowling alley to meet the famlily, we found out that we only had a half hour before all of the lanes were booked so we played one game of bowling. The lady at the counter told us that more lanes would be open in one hour so we figured we would wait around and bowl after the hour. There was a billiards hall across the street so we went there and we played pool, which was pretty cool, even though I suck at pool. So we killed an hour there and went back to the bowling alley, where we were told that it would be Another Hour before we would be able to play.... so we left. With plans to go up next weekend.

After getting home, my Dad bought pizza and we kids bought alcohol and we played Puerto Rico while making pornstars and trying to make bottle cap shots.... problem was that because we were trying to make them right, we wern't exactly pacing ourselves and so by the time we started Puerto Rico half of us were already shnockered. But is was fun. Dad turned on the Dr. Horrible soundtrack and we sang at the top of our lungs. All in all a good time.

Sunday was quieter, Malcolm worked and Nikki, Brian and I drove around running errands and indulging in our stationary and office supply weaknesses. Then the weekend was over far too soon, I couldn't sleep because my brain would not shut up, and then it was Monday. *sigh*

I'm it! 25 things!

On Facebook I have been tagged a few times to do this "25 Things" post, so I finally did it... and I thought: "Hey! Why not kill two birds with one stone?" (that is a horrible analogy if you think about it.... so don't think about it.)  So I have posted it here so that a) I actually post here and maybe my sister will back off (lol j/k little sis) and b) because I'm not sure how the note thing works on Facebook and thought it would be... uhhh... safer(?) here.  So with no more delay:

Renée's 25 things:

1. I am a reformed pathological sock purchaser

2. I am a sucker for new gadgets, especially if they are adorable. (Who wants to buy me a $400 mini laptop?)

3. I timed out of my keyboarding class yesterday and I'm actually shocked.

4. I have been a strict believer in not trying too hard so that people don't expect too much from you... that was until I realized my ego is too large to let me do that...

5. I was on a very crazy journey of self-discovery over 2005 and 2006 continuing with my being part of the leadership team in my church. Then I got hurt..

6. Now I seem to be trying to be a different person... gone the (supposedly) sweet, kind and quiet Renée, and in her place a jaded, sharp-tongued harpy.

7. I am not entirely sure why my husband loves me, but I thank God everyday that he does.

8. I am a sentimental fool, and thus a horrendous pack-rat.

9. My house is in a constant state of dirty cluttered-ness.

10. Turns out that I Adore data entry...

11. I have a tendency not to study for tests, and then I usually do pretty okay and it seems to just feed the destructive cycle.

12. I Love to houla-hoop on the Wii Fit

13. I am really anti-social. So I am a horrible friend, for which I feel bad, but then do nothing about.

14. I really like that my family spends a lot of time together and I think my Parents rock.

15. Sometimes I miss my mouth with... well, anything. This is therefore referred to as "Pulling a Renée" in my family.

16. I am incredibly good at not finishing things I start.

17. I like to think of myself as creative. I have written songs and stories(not very good ones...) and I like to do crafty things(such as make cards with scrapbooking supplies)

18. I like saying inane things, and often will make up songs while in the van with my family about liking to eat cheese, or chicken, and how I love them all.

19. I may have a bit of a cute shoe obsession... I blame it on the fact that I can always find shoes to fit, while clothes shopping is my bane.

20. I have recently become a bit of a purse nut... I blame Nikki.

21. My husband is an enabler... usually, but he won't buy me a new cell phone that I don't need and only want cause it's adorable. lol

22. When I bought my macbook, I had them install cool video editing software. (For like $200 or something) I have never used it, and only watched the tutorial on HOW to use it about a month ago.

23. When I came home from Summer Staff in '06, we were moving and I went up to my old room and cried for all that had been.

24. When my Grandparents died I was sad more for my Mom, and for the fact that I will never know for sure if they loved me, because how can you love a stranger.

25. I am weird and a nerd, and am actually kinda proud of it.

School, home, school...

The title of this post is pretty much what I have been doing since I last posted.  I have started my new(and last) term of school and have been settling back into the schedule.

I have also been trying to be a good little girl/wife by cleaning my house a bit.  I did do a bunch of cleaning in my kitchen (which is all undone again) and I got the new light fixture up in the kitchen too (okay, so I tried for an hour, then got so upset that I woke my husband and he finished the job... but I did the hard part of getting the old fixture down... uh huh.)  

I went through a bunch of old papers and keepsakes and hard-heartedly tossed the stuff I really didn't need to be saving. (For example my grade 8 Foods class binder.... yeah.)

I have done tons of cleaning in my front room too.  I can now actually see my dinning table (although admittedly the unfinished puzzle that is on it still keeps it from being used for meals...) and got a lot of recycling organized and out on recycling day.

And yet, even though I have done all of that, my house still looks like someone threw up junk all over it.  I am beginning to feel a little.......... umm......... depressed?  All of this cleaning and organizing and housework is really too much for a girl who has never been naturally good at the whole cleaning and organizing and housework thing.  :)  Is that a valid excuse?  My house is a shit hole because I am not naturally inclined to be clean or organized?  Probably not.

I also finally got around to staining the lovely bookcase/shelf that my Father-in-law gave me for my birthday... last year... for which we bought the stain shortly after receiving it... last year.  Of course that was earlier this week and it has been waiting for the second coat... lol.

So while I am feeling very accomplished I seem to only be able to see the other million things I still have to do. :)  Maybe that is a character flaw.  I prefer to think of it as a lovely quirk that makes me innately more lovable.  lol.

I do know that I will never really have to worry about my horrible ability to keep my house clean or organized as my husband is just as bad (if not worse.)  Therefore, anything I do will be wonderful, and more than we are used to anyway. (ahhh.... life is good) hahahahahahaha!

Well, the hour is getting late, and I have school in the morning.

Be well,

Laugh lots,

Love with all that you are,

And please vote for me as Queen of the World.

Renée

January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

Christmas is coming the goose is getting... cheese?

Well hello!

Long time no 'C'!  And no other letters either... (hahaha... ok lame joke)

I have been completely ignoring my computer... what with the end of school, trying to time out of keyboarding(which was unsuccessful....)  and getting ready for Christmas I have had no time to spend on the computer, much less find the time(or inclination) to update this here blog.

I have been finding myself a little frustrated about getting ready for Christmas this year.   I had most of my Christmas shopping done in November(the important stuff...my hubby hehe) and feel like I've made no progress since.  I have been trying to figure out what my job is as wife this year... Write Christmas cards, check.  Make sure I know what relatives of his need presents, check.  Get husband to tell me what it is we need to buy for said relatives.... harder than it looks. :D  Mail Christmas cards, what?  I decided rather last minute that it might be nice to send a portrait of us to his family(and mine) in the Christmas cards and they aren't ready until the 20th(a Saturday) so I won't be able to send them out until Monday(the 22nd) and that's if I have postage(which I don't at present)....  Make hook latch rug(which I intend to turn into a big pillow...) which is huger than it looked on the box, and now I only have 6 days left to finish hooking, finish it off, make it into a huge pillow somehow and wrap it. :) (p.s. I am not even half done... and I got it.....10 days ago?)  That's while I'm trying to Drag(quite literally) my husband out shopping with me for the last things on the list(his family and friends) and doing what I love most... Wrapping!

Wrapping things is easily the best thing ever.  And I totally get to do it, because the majority of my family doesn't care about wrapping(and are lazy enough to love having someone else do it) and my Mom, she lets me do it cause I love it, and that's how Mom's are.  (She may also be under the false impression that I'm better at it than she is.... crazy Mommy.)

It has actually been snowing here on the lovely island.... and the locals are in a frenzy.... hahaha, okay it's not that bad.  But it is the most talked about topic at the water cooler(and in the Wal~Mart aisles).  We are actually going to have a white Christmas!  And while that is all well and good, I feel bad for those who have to continue the daily grind in this crazy weather.  I am luckily out of school and without responsibilities... although the white stuff is putting a cramp in my last minute Christmas shopping... lol.  Also I think I have a cold.  Gross.

I am really glad that I have this time off before Christmas.... and after!  I don't go back to class until January 5th, 2009!  Which is the longest amount of time I've had off since.... well actually not that long ago because of the time I had off for the wedding.... but still this is much less structured than a wedding and honeymoon... and colder. :(

I can hardly believe that I have already made it half-way through my course and in a short 4 months will be graduated and hopefully off to Disneyland with my husband to celebrate(and there's the whole being married a whole year thing in there too... :P)  I am really nervous about the practicum portion of next term, but am also totally jazzed.  I have my fingers crossed for a friendly office where I will fit in.... and then have an opening May... lol  But that is the future and right now is about Presents!

It feels weird to not be a part of planning (and being in)  a Christmas pageant/Christmas Eve service.  I have been Mother Mary for three years and Jésus(hay-Zeus) and I are a little confused.  lol.   ( I totally just figured out how to do a "é" on my Mac... I am so stoked, now I can spell my name right! Go Me!) (Renée, Renée, Renée... mwahahahahaha)  (I have only had this thing for like almost a year now... sheesh)  (this post is full of parentheses... sorry)  Anyway, back to the Christmas service thing, I have never had a Christmas Eve so... well open... since I started working at Wal~Mart...(4 years ago...) and my hubby is off too, so yay!

Well it's 20min to 4am and my hubby has finally finished helping some friends with a big bad WOW boss guy, so I had better sign off.

Ta ta!

Byes!

Oh, and May your Christmas(or holiday, whatever your beliefs)  be filled with peace, hope, light and love and may that joy follow you into the new year!

Joyeux Noël!

Me.

Deeper Waters run darkly underneath....?

Today, while playing with the Apple TV my Dad got and browsing my Dad's itunes I ran across a Casting Crowns song that I haven't heard in a long while.  I had forgotten how much I loved the song, and how close to home it hits for me always.  I think that I would love to have a small group that met like once a month and talked about songs... I could pick out tons of songs that say things to me(a lot of them coming from Casting Crowns)  and how neat would it be to talk about them?  I used a lot of Casting Crowns songs as "inspiration" when I was doing pulpit supply at EUC. Here are the lyrics to the song I listened to tonight, and then I'm going to write a list of other songs that hug my heart when I hear them.  My hope is that you will listen to them and if they touch you too you'll leave a comment and tell me in what way and we can talk about them :)  And would also like to invite you to leave me a list of songs that you find touching or remarkably true to you, so that I might listen and learn :)

Here is Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

And here is my list of awesome songs (for the time being)

Casting Crowns:

If We are the Body

Praise You in this Storm

Does Anybody Hear Her

What this World Needs

The Altar and the Door

Here I Go Again

Voice of Truth

Who Am I

Michael W. Smith: (there are probably tons more, but this is it for now and mostly from the album "Stand")

Be Lifted High

Come to the Cross

Steven Curtis Chapman:(same as above, there are many more, these are mostly from the album "This Moment")

Broken

Children of God

Needtobreathe:

Washed by the Water

Chris Rice:

Untitled Hymn(Come to Jesus)

Chris Tomlin:

Enough

God of this City 

How Can I Keep from Singing

Made to Worship

Amazing Grace(My Chains are Gone)

How Great is our God

Matt Redman:

Blessed be Your Name

Various... so I don't really know

No One Like You (Barlowgirl??)

Grace Flows Down

I think that's enough for tonight :)

Bye.