Yay!

Hello.

There is a fear in me, a longing.  This sits in my heart like a two sided coin, covered, obscuring their true faces, keeping me confused.

Huh?  What does that even mean?

Have you felt the lump?  The one that sits almost on top of your chest, as if to try to constrict your breathing or at least never let you forget it is there?

Perhaps that two sided coin is not what it seems?  Perhaps if uncovered I would discover an icosahedron, 20 sides laughing at me.

Did you wonder how your heart could be so full of light, love, happiness, but be near tears?

Have you ever seen Darkwing Duck?  It's funny.

Is laziness a disease to be fought?  A habit to be broken?  A quirk to be tolerated?

I like my red socks.

I don't type very well... and classes are simply frustrating me... but I'm trying.

My husband is the bestest ever, and I love him very much... even when he picks his computer over me.... lol

Pink is a good, solid, dependable colour.  With just enough daring to never be dull.

I want to spend money... buy things.... hmmm.... I wonder if that has a deeper meaning than consumerism and selfishness.

Happiness and contentment, satisfaction and coasting, hmmm.... do any of these build houses?

Nikki complains I don't post... I hope she likes this one.  I'm sure I'll figure out what it means.  Maybe I'll tell you when I know.  Or maybe not.

Me.

Hi Nikki!

It's late, my husband is whining (;) he's so cute) so all I'm gonna say is... Hello Nikki! See I made a post!

Promise I'll write a good one soon. 

Hmmm....

As I walked out of school yesterday, the first step out the door, I was hit in the face with the brisk smell of fall.  In that moment, in that one step I felt almost as if the poetry  of my soul was being called on by something.  God?  Mother Nature?  The Trees?  Whatever the thing that called, it made my soul shift a little in the center of myself.  It did not last long, nor did it leave me with any kind of calling to create or compose, but that one moment, hardly even longer than one breath, has given a sort of hope.

Hope?, you ask....

I was once very active in my church, and with the leaders of that church I grew in my faith in ways I had not believed possible.  Then in a period of time that seemed like the buildings in the city of my life crumbling to dust, I was hurt.  It is hard to explain just how deep this hurt went, and just how long(unknown to me) it would stay in my heart.  But it made me a little sad, and with that sadness (with the church, not with Jesus) came a sort of vacation from my faith.  Now I hear you asking, "how can you take a vacation from your faith?"  It's actually kind of easy.  Just focus all of your attention on the little things.  Shopping, work, housecleaning, reading, sleeping.... you get the idea.  Anyway, because of this vacation, I was beginning to wonder, how was I going to get back to my faith, when I was positive that I would no longer be comfortable worshiping where I was before, and had no idea where to go from there.  I missed the wrestling that I did every week a I took part in planing the worship services.  I missed steeping myself in the theme and word for the week, being part of that worship, but there were no places that I knew of where I could do that sort of thing.  I had kind of decided that I didn't need to go to a church to continue to be faithful, but I had nothing in place to keep me faithful.  So I just kept on with my vacation.

Then one day,  I realized that if I kept looking for the same thing I had before I would just simply continue to sit around. So...  As I stepped out the school and was hit by that 'something' it moved my soul, nudged it and said, open.  Open to the possibilities of worship in any and all places.  Open to the call in every part of the world, every part of your self.  It lasted, not much longer than a breath, but in that breath, hope.

So on sunday, I'm going to church with some people, not that place of old, that place is in the past, but trying out new stuff.  Opening my heart to the possibilities, to worship in everything, anywhere.

Phew.

Ummm... almost roadkill, and before breakfast!

So , my husband worked at 6am this morning, and being the wonderful, loving, devoted, (modest) wife that I am I drove him to work. Now at quarter to 6 in the morning at this time of year, it is actually, you know, still dark and all that jazz. So I'm driving down the street, regailing my doting husband with a captivating story about a spider that crawled on my head yesterday while I was in the garage (and I didn't scream...) when suddenly I notice a raccoon crossing the street,(not at a crosswalk). So, slamming on the brakes, I missed him be inches... although my brak did this funny protest and so I thought I had hit him. But I didn't. But it was a little scary.

I am really looking forward to the next couple nights, since Malcolm and I are both off in the evenings. But them of course I don't really get to spend any significant amount of time with him until.... Thursday before work? Sunday? :P

I get to CSM my next two shift at work, so that will be a cool change. I did one CSM shift already and it was okay. I don't really like the babysitting, but I do enjoy having my own keys! lol

My sister has an interview today, and I really hope it goes will for her :) I know that she is fantastic, so I'm sure she'll do great.

Miss my 'rents. House is quiet when they aren't around... and I'm in charge of animals. Not bad, or hard, but I sometimes forget... (lucky Nikki was around yesterday, cause I lost track of time playing Zuma, and I didn't feed them. But Nik did, so it all turned out ok.)

Well, time to go eat lunch.

Love and Blessings,

So much for staying current.... :P

Well, it's been a while since I updated, so I'll try to be concise....

I have started school and am really enjoying the program... for the most part. I think that I am too lazy a person to be doing so much stuff. Full time school and 21hrs of work as well as being Mommy jr. while Momma is away is a bit much. But I have to admit, that I am excited about the posibilities that this course offers, should I do well. (which I expect to do *fingers crossed*)

My Mom and Dad have gone away to celebrate their 29th wedding anniversay and my Mom's birthday. They seem to be having a good time, as far as I can tell form the texts and twitters. I have been a bad daughter and have not called them to say hi or anything. (Execpt this one time when the LitterMaid kitty thingy went all freaky on me... but I don't want to talk about it*sniff*)

I can tell that fall has finally arrived, since I had to each my lunch in the cafeteria instead of outside as was my habit. But it just didn't seem like a good idea to eat outside where it was pooring down rain. :P

My keyboarding class has one wall of windows, and the computers are set up in such a way that I can simply turn my head to look out. (Unlike most of the other classrooms where the windows are behind us.) And beyond the windows in this class is a stand of trees. What a beautifully Canadian vista it was out hose windows today. A stand of evergreen trees standing majestically in the pooring rain. It made me wish that I was living in a secluded cabin in the woods. (With my husband of course, and plenty of firewood.)

Now I get to drive home, but the rain seems to have stopped.

Love and Blessings.
Me.

Hi

Good morning!

Hope you woke up to the beautiful sun that is out there in Victoria today! I am expecting today to be wonderful. Hopefully that expectation becomes reality, but we shall see. I get to have lunch with my husband today, and I am very happy about that. I don’t know what we are having for lunch, but I expect it will be super whatever it is. Can you tell that I am in a good mood? lol Oh well, I’m sure it won’t last.
Today, being Friday, I have only one class, and it’s a class I am very excited about. I think that may explain my good mood. :P
Also, we got paid today… Woohoo! lol
Well, I can’t really think of anything else to say.

Have a good day!

College....

So far I am enjoying all of the classes that I have at Camosun... The ones where I get to work on a computer are my favorites so far, but I am also looking forward to the clinical and practical things we'll be learning in the other classes.
We are a group of about 13 girls that we get to go from class to class together, so that's nice. We'll get to know each other over the course of the program.

I was feeling pretty good about myself yesterday, I had remembered my lunch(which I made the night before...) and everything went smoothly. Today on the other hand, I forgot both my lunch and my cell phone. :P I have never been so glad for some free time in a computer lab, so that I could tell people I wasn't ignoring them, the phone was simply ringing, alone, in my bedroom.

Well, class is done. Better go!