My yearly update....

I have been reminded very gently by my family that it has been long enough without a post and that I should update.  :)
This is probably something other people experience, but with the breadth of quality blogs out there for people to read it seems almost indecent for me to put my inane ramblings out into the void. lol I would love to write more consistently, but it is obviously not my passion since there is always something "better" to do with my time. (And you wonder why my house still doesn't get cleaned...)

I have now been working at my store for about a year and a half, and just recently (as in Tuesday...) got a full-time position there in the frame shop. So yay!

My husband has developed a passion for golf and I spend every Monday hanging out while he has his lesson and every weekend watching it on TV. I never knew my husband to get out of bed early on his days off until he took up golf! :)

I have just finished reading a pretty awesome book, penned by one of those quality bloggers I mentioned at the top, and recommend you check it out (both the book and the blog.) It is called: "Let's Pretend this Never Happened: A mostly true memoir" by Jenny Lawson, also know as The Bloggess. (Find it on Amazon here.) Not only is the book a wonderful read, but Jenny is a fabulous lady, and I dare you not to be moved, offended, tickled and totally in love with her by the end. She makes me #FuriouslyHappy.

There have not been a whole lot of milestones in my life in the last year and I never have been one with a very good memory (as my siblings will attest,) so I find it hard to feel interesting enough to have a whole blog post to write... My hubby and I will be celebrating 4 years married next month, we are taking a road trip to his Grandparents house in Kingston in July, and I wait with baited breath for the PAX Prime attendee ticket server to be fixed so I can buy two 3-day passes.  I am on Twitter, but mostly watch, in that socially acceptable stalker-like way I have, and am a little in love with Pinterest. I would love to start having babies, and am trying to clean my house in spite of my chronic laziness, and miss having that one day a week when my sister and I would hang out. All in all I am a painfully average girl just trying to be a good wife, a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend, a good employee and a good human being in beautiful Victoria.

I dearly wish for your day to be filled with smiles and laughter,
Me.



P.S. Here are some other things that keep me too busy to clean house:
Wil Wheaton had a blog!
Geek and Sundry, I love the Flog!
Cyanide and Happiness, I feel like I need to warn you that the humour here is... not my Mom's humour.
I am on Pinterest!
Follow me on Twitter, you know, if you want.... I don't tweet much.... but I'm good company. ;)

Also you should watch this love it too! lol 

What has she been up to??

Wow, it certainly has been a fabulously long time since I wrote anything here. Funnily enough, it seems that my life practically come full circle since this time last year. My beautiful and clever Goddaughter has come back to town in, I think, a brilliant move by her Mother and I have the exciting job of looking after her again. have also been working at Michaels craft store since, soon after my last post, October.  I am finding my days busy but so far not unpleasantly so.  Tomorrow is my 26th birthday and I have been spoiled rotten already by my fabulous family and get to continue to be since my entire family is coming out with me tomorrow to Karaoke!!! And that includes my non-singing, slightly anti-social husband. :) (He is soooooo sweet to me!!!!!)  I have some frustrations and decisions and troubles, but all in all am so incredibly blessed and that overshadows everything.

Searching...

I had the amazing and wonderful chance to look after a 2 year old girl for almost a year.  She also happened to be my Goddaughter.  I am so grateful that I was able to be at a point in my life that allowed me to do that job-that-was-no-job and look after while her mom was at work.  She is a precious, adorable, intelligent little package of trouble and I am so grateful for her and her mother every day.  But as life is wont to do, changes happened and they moved away (just far enough, but not too far)  and I am now looking for a job.

I have to admit that looking for a job is an amazingly difficult thing to quantify.  There are no specific measurements of how well the hunt is going, or even feedback in order to improve your search.  It's like yelling out into a void, and hoping for an answer that is more than an echo.

I can count how many resumes I have sent out or how many interviews I have had, but as I continue to remain jobless there is a certain useless quality to the number.  And as the months roll on, there begins to be a certain useless quality to my self esteem.

It's funny the way people define their self-worth.  The fact that nameless people who have seem my resume or interviewed me and not offered me a job might find me lacking in some way... at times really hits hard.  Stupid, I know... logically only I can define my own worth, but there are days when my joblessness is all I can see.

I am so blessed.  I have family and friends who are supportive and caring.  I have a husband who is patient and loving.  I have a hobby I enjoy and have been using my free time to that advantage....  And I know that in the end, it's God's plan, and only He knows it.  But like anything worthwhile, waiting for God to reveal that plan is hard.  And some times remembering that I am being held by Him is very, very hard.  I question my worth, and usefulness.  I question Him.  And in the end have nothing more than I began.  Which is more than nothing...  In the end all I have is the knowledge that this is all His plan, and I simply must have faith that just as God provides for the earth, so he will provide for me.  And He never promised it would be easy.

And so some days my heart breaks over the past, and a little girl I now don't get to see as often as I would like.  And I just keep trying to find my place in the world outside this cozy home and family.  And I see the truth in the lyrics of "For Good" from 'Wicked'...


...I've heard it said 
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow 
If we let them....


...So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a hand print on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...


Be well, my friends.
Goodnight.

DOUBLE RAINBOW SONG!!

You're Welcome.

Team Eli

Just something fun from something David Blue said on Twitter. lol
**I do not own these images of David or Bryan, or the SGU logo, this is for fun only, I have no connection to the show or it's marketing.**

Dancing through Life....

I have found myself needing a 'musical fix' and so have been listening to Wicked and I Love You Because (A Modern Day Musical Love Story) with a little Les Mis thrown in for good measure.
But anyway, here is what is on my mind....

I am turning 25 this month, and while for ages I believed people were ridiculous to be anxious about just another year among (hopefully) many, many years, I am finding myself not unaffected by the upcoming anniversary.  And while I believe this is the reason behind the frame of mind I find myself in, it is possibly only a small part (only God knows)...

I have been spending the last year (more than that, really) working on my faith and focusing on what plan God has for me, and what talents he has gifted me with... And while I feel like I have grown much over this learning, I seem to have run into a wall.
Part of me says,
"Pray, and work harder to discover what it is that is blocking you, God will help you move/remove it."
While the other part of me says,
"I don't want to.  Can't I just stay here?  I am comfortable here.  I am willing to move forward, but don't want to be going at such a pace."
The part of me that wants to stay still is louder... If this were a tug-o-war it would be the winner.
I know what I would say to someone else if they came to me with this.  Something along the lines of:
"Change is not always comfortable."
"So far, whenever you have gone forward, despite how hard or uncomfortable it has been, hasn't it been worth it?"
"Running away never solves anything."
"Everyone had walls/hard places they have to overcome.  It's part of life.  It's part of becoming the person God intends you to be.  There is no 'escaping' life.  There is no 'escaping' God."
And yet, even as I know that in my head, my heart cries out,
"Don't I deserve a sabbatical?  Can't I simply drift in the blessings of family God has given me?  Must you push me?"

I supposed that you could say I am tired.  You could say that I am giving up.  What I can say for sure is that there is a distinct backing off I feel happening in me.  A decision to relegate myself to 'luke-warm' status as a Christian, and take myself out of the flow, for now.  I think a part of it comes from this crazy system upheaval that my turning 25 has surprisingly begun.  But also I think it stems from a habit I picked up in my youth.  When things get hard, when you feel overwhelmed, back off.  You can't be found foolish if you don't participate.  And even knowing that, even knowing all the things to say.... I still hear a "give me time" from my heart, a calling out for a slower pace.

This has been building in me for a couple of weeks... and I think this is it's voice.  Now, what do I do with it?

My Sister, A Song

Hey, so I wrote a song. Just a little ditty for my sister. It's been building itself in my head since last weekend when Nikki and I "road tripped" up to Nanaimo. This is my first ever YouTube video... It was quickly put together just to get the song up so Nikki could have it. Thought I would share it though.

Enjoy!